so, my first tour of europe with the lovely diane and her crew candice and jess, the secksy peter and lydia. part 1 of a 2 part series.
first stop, london. didn't go to the tower of london cuz we didn't end up waking up early enuf to spend more than an hour seeing the torture chambers and experiencing the beefeater tours. that's ok for me though since i've already seen it before but it would've been a great experience for the other heads i traveled with. on the way back home, i definitely DEFINITELY wanna see windsor castle, something that i missed last time i was in london. i actually thought i was in the castle itself but it turned out that i was actually in saint peter's cathedral NEXT to the castle. all the sneaking around we did behind the gaurds to get past the castle walls all for nought. the food in london is infamously bad with the exception of indian. we had great indian with none of the post-dining hershey squirts at all! score!
peter loved the city cuz it was so clean. he came to that conclusion after stepping off the subway and breathing 5 minutes of london air. that bloody bloke even exclaimed his desire to live there.
peter wanted some of davy's secret sauce. so i gave it to him.
the result was a highly energized and satisfied customer. buy now for...
what is the meaning of life? am i happy with myself? why is that damned wheel blocking my view?
for awesome london pics, see previous posts
amsterdam is one of the sickest cities i've ever been to. FUN FACT: it used to be the leading financial city of the world back in the 17th century when its trade was booming. upon first impression, my friends were understandably disappointed by the city. but i knew the reason was because our hostel was in the red light district replete with the unavoidable feeling of seediness. i held my judgment until we ventured away from the district and was right about all the great things that i've heard about amsterdam. very diverse community, beautiful waterways, relaxed atmosphere, the smell of skunk, the crackin nightlife, etc etc. we saw a lot of things including the nemo science museum, van gogh museum (man this guy was a real nutjob), rijk museum, and vondel park. we hit up a few bars one night, ate space cakes (bud muffins) at a coffee shop called de rojerik the next night, and chilled and danced at a lounge called vuong. all dope times but what really set off the experience was renting beach cruisers to explore the city. apparently, amsterdam is THE BIKING CITY of europe as evidenced by the sheer number of bicyclists and bicycle lanes. bikers have the right of way over cars, trams, AND pedestrians. there were many a time when we were sauntering in the bike lane only to hear crazy bike bells clanging from behind forcing us to scurry to the side. as the offended biker passed us, they would almost surely mutter curses. only until we all rented cruisers to see parts of amsterdam we normally wouldn't have seen did i feel free as the recently departed autumn leaf slowly making Vs on its way to the earth. biking along the waterways, seeing the boaters drift lazily along, and soaking in the quaint houses that line the path was quite an experience.
i had to. lez get blunted my brotha.
we saw two giant harry potter-esque chess sets in amsterdam. i know it's prolly easier handling large objects while in a chronic induced state but this is ridiculous.
does this boat make my butt look fat?
no words needed.
the red light district was quite interesting, street after street of neon-red bordered windows which showcase lingerie clad women waiting for men to negotiate a price. the girls ranged from fat to skinny, light to dark, short to tall, and shapely to featureless. the only similarities were that they were generally hot. perhaps legalization brings out the quality goods. *bad thought! bad davy!* in the coffee houses, the backyard boogie was being sold by the gram, ranging in varieties from hydro to "white widow," a highly potent version of the green we see in the states. i mean, hear. not see... just hear about... no really. a pothead's paradise. we wanted to send a potfriend friend of ours a postcard from amsterdam that said, "there's hella weed here. we didn't smoke anything. laaaaaaatez." the food was great with indonesian being the highlight. we went to the heineken brewery and got three ticket vouchers redeemable for ice cold heinies. of course, i got two beers and an orangina-type drink called the "sise," which we pronounced "sissy" for obvious reasons.
on the way to the anne frank house, it started pouring cows and dilophosauruses. ie crazy mad nuts balls. anyways, he parked our bikes and ducked into line under the building's outcroppings. for the next 15 minutes, during the downpour, not a single soul walked the streets, and nary a boat was seen floating down the waterway. however, as soon as the rain let up, swarms of people came out of their hiding place and started filling the streets again. boats came out from god knows where and started motoring up and down the canals. we bear witness to time freezing.
peter was disgusted by amsterdam and everything about it. to him, there was no redeeming quality and amsterdam deserved to be burnt down. i thought he was a little harsh but he prolly hired a red light hooker that turned to be a man. so i forgive him.
fashion faux pas. ad clashes with building.
one drunken night at a lounge called vuong. the crew.
peter's skin is so soft.
goodbye amsterdam. cya laterz.
brussels was our next stop for a lunch. their food is renowned to be some of the best in all of europe so we wanted a taste. we stopped by a cafe and was ate delectable mussels and beef cubes by a french speaking hater waiter. he had no patience for us whatsoever, explaining menu selections in a curt manner reminiscent of dr. evil's "shh" quips, and giving us an incorrectly calculated bill. twice. we were quite wary of eating french food from then on out but luckily, never encountered that kind of service again. we we visited the Grand Place, "the jewel of Brussel's crown," as evidenced by its Gothic magnificence. think gargoyles and dracula.
a cool building in the grand place.
i was highly anticipating rome. from what everyone told me about the city, i was expecting a grand city with magnicificent ornamental structures and an overabundance of fauna similar to the images of ol skool rome in its prime over a millenia ago. then reality hits as the heat makes its best effort to turn me into a puddle of goo. it was just like any other big city and its associated problems: pollution, traffic, tourists. granted, it was great to see the architecture and amazing engineering marvels of a civilization that existed 5000 years ago but i guess i was just hoping to automatically be whisked away to that time period simply by standing around in the middle of the street. didn't happen. the oppressive heat and the gaggle of tourists may have ruined it for me but i think there are nicer places to see ala florence.
peter loved all the hot italianas. he would live in italy too. cuz of the babes. spose that's better than hittin amsterdam hunks. he left with his sister to go to see the rest of italy and go then head home early. what a wuss. he must really want to hang out with his sister's 20 year old friends.
fountains scattered throughout the city spew ice cold drinkable water. looks like a golden shower to me.
colosseum minus the floor
colosseum at night
a popular chill spot. we saw a man propose here.
one of the drama-building corridors leading to the highly anticipated sistine chapel
the last day we were in italy, i made them rent a 4 person "quadcycle." Hilarity ensues. A bunch of skinny girls and me pedaling haphazardly down major cobblestone streets amidst cars, scooters, trucks, and buses zooming and zipping across our path in a self-powered four wheeled vehicle replete with awning must have looked ridiculous even to tourists. i swear we couldn't stop laughing for 10 straight minutes as soon as we took off. a flat tire forced us to look for a pump in "trastevere," the italian jew ghetto. we stopped at a pirelli shop only to wait 20 minutes for the guy to come help us. he wanted to replace the entire tire and tube but after about 5 minutes of trying to communicate that we just wanted to pump our tire up, he finally obliged... only to have the tire go limp again in 30 seconds flat. so we straggled out of the ghetto, across the tiber river, towards the colosseum, to return the damn thing. the punk who rented us the death trap wouldn't listen to our reasoning for being an hour late so we were charged double. ah well. good times.
that last night in italy, we went to campo di fiore, a plaza for drinking and chillin. imagine a huge circle of bars surrounding this fountain, a buncha heads just chillin, drinkin, a good ol time. there's also a lotta male wallflowers if u can believe it, scoping every girl that passes by. i left the girls for literally 10 seconds to throw away my cup of gelato only to come back to two doods tryin to talk to em. as soon as they saw me come up, they were like "ooo ooops" and stuck their hands out to shake my hand. i gave em a firm shake and they bounced. man. 10 seconds. savages.
the vatican. there are dan brown tours in rome that retrace the book's steps
does god live up there?
